I love my mom

Just some things I need to work out.

     I went to Georgia to visit My mother after many years of just communicating over the phone or texting. Part to the reason is the My cousin and sister also live in and around Atlanta.. My cousin has had some issues in caretaking my mom. she has had the resources my sister an I haven't,  and she has done an amazing job. handling finances driving her around to her medical appointments, making sure she has what she needs. Like my mom my cousin wants to retire and pass these responsibilities to some one else. I live in New York and do not have the same resources the my cousin does. My sister I think is in a bad position. She works at her job, is trying to get her own thing up and running, while caretaking her husband who is gravely ill. She is burning herself out to the point that she is getting sick herself. My cousin has made inferences that my mother is not able to handle her own life, that she needs monitored care. At 83 my mother has trouble with driving, she repeats portions of conversation and stories, her short term memory is starting to get spotty, otherwise she seem to be in good health and with some prodding can handle her affairs. I think the best I can do is be consistent in my conversations with her. She lives by herself, doesn't go out much, does not have people over often, but does occasionally go to the senior center and tries to support local politics. she has never been a social person but the amount of time she spends alone may not be good. I don't like not knowing what I can do to help. I guess just be there and be available. I do not know my cousin or now even my sister as well as I thought. our lives have drifted apart. they have had experiences and moments that have shaped the in ways that i could not possibly be aware of. the young people that we were are very different than the adults that we are now.  I feel that I am being managed by my cousin to see my mother in a certain light and to back her decisions. I know we all feel that our parents a immortal and all knowing but I lost that shade a long time ago. My mother is getting old and so is her interaction with the world. Driving appears to be the biggest issue. The mental processes involved in drivng can be daunting when it becomes harder to juggle all the input necessary, so she drives slower and does not handle change as fast. Did I mention that she is 83. 

    During the visit we talked about lots of things, family, life, religion, and politics. Politics is where she brightens up be cause that is how she is wired, while she was repetitious on some points, she was very clear and in the conversation, She told me about some things that I have not heard before. and some things that will always come up to talk about. the issue does not seem as bad as my cousin make them out to be. My mom is getting old and she is slowing down in places, but she seems to be handling things ok. 

    I love my Mom. she has had an incredible life and has done her share of making the world better. I think she raised me to be a good man, a good person. I am proud that she is my Mom and I am proud to be her son.