Should auld acquaintance be forgot

    I am sure this has happened to many of us, sometimes you lose track of friends. A forgotten phone call or email, what is the big deal? right ? The odd thing I have noticed about friendships is the longer the relationship the longer the gaps in communication. Case in point. My best friend ever, Joe. I have know him for more than 40 years and he is closer to me than my own brother. There was a time when we didn't communicate for close to 8 years. Not for any negative reason other than we were living our lives and if we had needed to we would have just picked up the phone. when I had called him after all that time, the first thing he said was "Good to know you are still alive" there were a lot of harsh feelings. He had needed me and I wasn't able to be reached. My mom had not forwarded any of his communications. We then caught up with each other for the next 4 hours. Other than the new things we had to share with each other, we just fell into the old rhythm as is we had talked to each other yesterday. We now talk 2 - 3 times a month. he is one of my kid's godparents and I cherish our relationship. I count myself lucky that we were able to renew it.

    My luck ran out. I was recently talking to someone about the Army as it was vs. the Army as it is and in talking about my experiences Maddie came up a lot.  It had been a while since I had reached out to her. I think it was sometime at the beginning of quarantine in spring of 2020. we had caught up a bit, laughed at some old jokes, and exchanged "keep safes" I have recently found out that she had died. Almost two years ago in Nov 2020 she was killed by her own son Tyler James. Sadly my first thought was "Tyler, No!!" My next though was completely selfish in that "What kind of friend am I to not know, to not have been in her life"  She was in a large way a part of the life I have now. 

    I met Madeline Easterwood at Fort Devens, Massachusetts. we were both in the Army. I had been in for two years as a reservist, Maddie had just come out of Basic Training. we were both there to be trained in our new military specialty. It was a 60 week course and she was in the cycle behind ours. The first thing I noticed about her were her eyes. They were this piercing blue and focused on everything she looked at. she also had the sweetest smile. Our cycle had been whittled down from 15 to 3 by this time so we would march to school with their group. In the Army you tend to make fast friends. At the very least you can quickly learn about people because everybody is missing home and you are starving to make new connections.  Maddie and I it seems new each other for ever or at least is seemed like it. we were both big Sci-Fi fantasy geeks and we both loved Tabletop Role playing games. I ran her in a few sessions between study times. we got to be fast friends, after a while I had even developed a bit of an attraction to her. but when I told her She didn't feel the same way. I expected it to be awkward between us, but it never did.

When I was assigned to Korea I thought that like all my friendships in the military, it would be a few letters back and forth and then on to new things, She wound up stationed in Korea as well with her new husband. It was nice, I felt like a big brother showing her around. She was assigned to my team and mission with her was always fun. She and her husband John paid for my plane ticket to get home and get married. Best wedding present ever. They attended the bachelor/wedding party when I got. back.

After we had both left the Army and I was back in New York and she was in Virginia we kept in touch monthly. visited each other once in a while. eventually our lives took precedent and calls were few and sporadic. I would think of her often, and not follow thru in contacting her.  The quarantine hit and like most people I wanted to check on the people I cared about far and near, so I reached out. That was the last time I spoke to her. 

I miss her but I have our shared times and they were always good. she always had a smile for me and my fam when we visited and her oldest, Heather Quinn Warr grew to be beautiful and wonderful person. 

Thank you for the memories and the love "Thumper" You always be missed and you will always be remembered.